[Parker Sgarbossa]

Knowing her position in not accepting the existence of hell and not liking how the church talks so much about sin, I can see where any amount of sin that I mention would strike a bad key with her. So I don’t agree that I focused too much on sin, as it is necessary to mention it, for without the existence of sin or hell, Christ died for nothing and in the “Liar, Lunatic or Lord” argument, he would be anything but Lord. Texting wasn’t the best choice however, I realize that in-person is much more effective because our body language and tone of voice matters whereas texting leaves a lot for interpretation. Whoops.

[Parker Sgarbossa]

Yes, roughly, he didn’t share the exact date. I tried this exercise again, as November is a ways away, and this time the Holy Spirit instantly brought to mind my boss’s boss and then HER boss (funny how its my superiors that keep being brought to mind! I don’t think it is a coincidence, as God humbled me from my rebellious, prideful disobedience and disdain for superiors in my past). In the past, we had a run-in where I was correcting coworkers that were saying “omg” and it was brought to her attention and I was asked to stop. I got the vibe from her that she understood where I was coming from because of how she approached the conversation, where she remained rather neutral instead of penalizing and said she understood being zealous for my faith is where I was coming from (I can’t imagine how she would enforce stopping “omg” as a manager, nor was that an expectation of mine in our conversation). I’ve been praying for her with a decade of the rosary each day and I will be praying today for a way to show her kindness. I don’t see her everyday, just once in a while (unless I went out of my way to walk to her office), so lets hope an opportunity arises!

[Parker Sgarbossa]

She said it focused too much on sin

[Parker Sgarbossa]

I think I’d say “Would you agree that the best kind of love is the sacrificial love like a parent has for their child, or a spouse and their partner? Well good news, God loves you even more than that! Unfortunately all of us are children of Adam and Eve who rejected God’s love and sin entered the world. We are born with disordered attractions to sin and darkened intellect. Would you agree that we have a tendency to desire things that only destroy our health, our friendships, our inner peace? That’s the reality of sin. Now since God loves us so much, he sent his son Jesus so that through baptism, loving God and loving one another, we can be reconciled with God through his church.” I shared this with my mother.

[Parker Sgarbossa]

Many people have asked me how I became a Catholic, it’s taken a few times to iron out the testimony to make it less me-focused and more God-focused, still need God’s help in that regards. Here it is anyways:

I was (legally still am, but not practicing) in a same sex relationship for 12 years and not raised religious, would’ve identified as agnostic I suppose. Before converting, I had tv, porn addictions and struggled with pride, ingratitude, gossip and lies. My partner wanted to return to Catholicism and I had no desire to with the stance on SS relationships. However, since it meant so much to him I said I’d go to mass with him to a latin mass. Now this is where both him and I were flabbergasted. When they were consecrating the host and rang the bell, I felt my knees being nudged to kneel (which I was stubbornly refusing to do), and when I kneeled I was overwhelmed with emotion as I stared at crucified Jesus. I made a decision then and there to join the faith. Now, it took 3 years to separate from the relationship because he didn’t believe it was wrong, but God never gave up on me, he tugged at my heart so hard it felt like a tug o war. Ultimately I conceded and broke it off with him and joined the church. Later, I prayed to st Monica (or so I vaguely recall) to help him come to terms with being chaste and he called me one night very late and asked if I had prayed for him with that intention and said “you are like st Monica” – that right there solidified my belief in God. Ever since my conversion, God has helped me be more humble, the addictions stopped after I read a book about chastity and st Augustine/st Monica and felt a very strong holy spirit presence prompting me, and have given my life to God in prayer, adoration and self denial.

[Parker Sgarbossa]

How does one discern promptings of the Holy Spirit? I feel promptings but I never know if it’s Him or just me. I guess you could say my faith is lacking.

[Parker Sgarbossa]

That poor woman..Addiction is the worst state to be in next to despair. The addict usually has to hit rock bottom before they turn their life around. A summarized quote from a priest who helped me is “God is the craftsman, we are either clay that is easily mouldable or marble that has to be chiseled”.

[Parker Sgarbossa]

1) Coming from having the same addiction, I’d pray with her to St. Monica and explain the story of St. Monica and St. Augustine and reassure her how there is hope, as I was knee deep in that addiction as well until God saved me. I’d offer my number if she ever wanted to meet and pray together.

[Parker Sgarbossa]

I would ask “where do you believe that our conscious stems from?” “ do you feel that nagging tug of your conscious when you do something bad?” “Did you know that is the Holy Spirit that is guiding you?” If we pay attention to that little voice more often, He will open our eyes to the Truth that is God and his laws. It’s great that you’re happy, however the things you have listed don’t ever give lasting joy and peace which is why we always feel driven for more/better to drown out that little voice that is God.

[Parker Sgarbossa]

God doesn’t stop loving you even when you choose of your own free will to reject Him… however His qualities are mercy AND justice like any good parent. If you choose to turn away from Him and his commandments, you choose not to love him with the sacrificial love he desires (agape) so you can enter into relationship with Him in heaven for eternity. Anywhere that is devoid of Mercy is hell. He won’t force you to be in heaven if you don’t have that love for Him because you’d hate it and it would just be another hell.

[Parker Sgarbossa]

I’d say imagine the love you have for your parents. When they are with you, you don’t have to imagine them in your mind, but when they aren’t with you, you use a photograph or a token of their love to remind yourself of them. You don’t believe they are physically present in the photo. Same thing with images of Mary, Jesus, and the Saints, they help stir the imagination so we can picture them when we pray to them.

[Parker Sgarbossa]

I’d say that sounds like you believe that salvation is by faith alone, is that what you believe? If yes, I would question how then does someone explain what Jesus meant when he said “love your neighbour as I have loved you?” Jesus didn’t just love us from afar, he practiced the corporal and spiritual works of mercy and embraced suffering for others sake. That is true love, sacrificial love (agape, the Greek word for sacrificial love, which is the love Jesus was referring to).

[Parker Sgarbossa]

Jesus implemented the sacrament of reconciliation through his priests because when we confess to God privately – while this is still good to do- we can’t be certain of forgiveness because we may not have the right disposition in our confession (ie not truly having contrition for our sins). A priest can discern this and decides whether to abstain from absolving the sins or not. Plus by confessing to a priest they can give advice and help if your conscious is clouded (ie uncertainty about the graveness of a sin or finding sin where there is none).

[Parker Sgarbossa]

I prayed for the Holy Spirit’s guidance of who needed prayers of intercession to bring them back to the faith or to bring them to the faith, someone who I see frequently, and my coworker/previous supervisor came to mind. Then I asked how I may serve them or do them a kind service and I had the thought of writing a birthday card for them (I never write birthday cards, so its surprising that it came to mind, nor do I know when his birthday is). I prayed for Mary to intercede for him, his wife and his children.

[Parker Sgarbossa]

1) I would ask how he defines love. There’s 4 kinds of love: brotherly love, romantic/sensual love, familial love and sacrificial love. Agape – sacrificial love- is the love that the Bible speaks of when it says to love God and love one another.

Next I would explain that God designed us to be in relationship with Him in Agape love, and created man and woman for that same purpose, with procreation as a fruit of that love. It is due to original sin and the fall of mankind that our attractions became disordered, even within heterosexual lifestyles (pornography, adultery etc), which led away from this original perfect creation. We are not defined by our disordered attractions (i.e. “I am gay”), but they are a cross that we must bear patiently until the fullness of time comes and God’s faithful are renewed to their original perfect state.

Next I would admit that I too have SS attractions and was in a practicing SS relationship for 12 years before coming to God, so I understand where he is coming from, as the attraction feels as natural as when someone who is heterosexual explains love for their partner. We don’t want to be “left out” of the love that we feel towards others and be “forced” to remain single and chaste; however what God offers is not bondage but freedom from sin and disordered affections. The attraction never goes away, nor will it most likely, but the desire to act on it can in time if we but ask God for his grace and pledge ourselves to follow Jesus (speaking from personal experience, and not including temptations to sin).

2) First I would question what they mean when they said “not welcoming” – do they mean they rejected the boyfriend altogether or they told him that he cannot fully participate in the mass with a practicing SS lifestyle, because the two are very different. The church doesn’t turn anybody away who wants to follow Christ and obey God’s commandments, no matter their sexual attraction. I sympathize with them and invite them to ponder why the church would remain firm in its stance against gay marriage, perceived bigotry aside. There’s no obvious benefit towards taking this stance for the church or its members, in fact the church is seen as a pariah in today’s society. If the church truly hated those with SS attraction it would never bother to remain steadfast in inviting those with SS attraction to be chaste which is a gift from the Holy Spirit of God. I would ask if I could share my personal testimony that describes why I left a SS relationship to follow God.

[Author]

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