Tips for Success
On the question of relating to our fellowman – our neighbor’s spiritual need transcends every commandment. Everything else we do is a means to an end. But love is an end already, since God is love. — Saint Teresa Benedicta
This is the work of the Holy Spirit.
The work of evangelization is the work of grace in our hearts. Edith Stein, who became St. Teresa Benedicta, once said “On the question of relating to our fellowman – our neighbor’s spiritual need transcends every commandment. Everything else we do is a means to an end. But love is an end already, since God is love.” As you move forward in the process of starting your small group you are going to run into roadblocks and problems. Persevere. Your life should be different because of this work. It should be fuller; it should give you peace no matter how much or how little “success” you see in terms of numbers. Ask for help to imitate St. Francis de Sales who talks about the heart of the devoted person as being in a constant state of abandonment to God so that both success and failure are met with peace.
Don’t underestimate the power of joy.
Running a Seeker small group is an opportunity to change the culture of your community by leading and influencing the people who attend your small group meeting. You have the opportunity to lead by your example and witness to Christ. According to Fulton Sheen, “Joy is not derived from the things we get or the people we meet; it is manufactured by the soul itself, as it goes about its self-forgetful business.” People will be influenced by your own mood. Smile and be lighthearted; God is in charge of your ministry.
Create accountability with your participants.
- Creating expectations: Yes, it is wonderful that your participants showed up for the first time. As you build a relationship with them, create the expectation that they will come back each week. Make sure you get their contact information and keep in touch outside of class, increasing contact as their commitment grows. Phone calls, texts, facebook messages, and even postcards with a handwritten note are good ways to do this. Notice what form of communication each person most often uses and take advantage of this. There will be an opportunity for a one-on-one meeting outside of the small groups to help people identify the next step in their journey of discipleship.
- Create a desire to attend again by the quality of each meeting, from the welcome to the food, to the content of the teaching and discussion. Assume that every meeting is the only meeting you’ll have to share the Gospel with someone who is attending, but speak as though each person will come back. Hold yourself and your team to a high level of excellence in your work so that each meeting is worth attending.
- Respect each person’s privacy while showing warmth and interest. It is good to say, “We’re going to miss you if you are not here next week.” But balance this with telling each new person, when they are first invited and you ask for contact information, that you will only call them once if they quit coming. No one is going to keep bothering them. If someone only shows up one time, keep your promise to only call and check in on them once. If someone with whom you have built a solid friendship stops coming, it is okay to contact them a couple of times and show that you care about them.
- Challenge people to start living as disciples now. If someone tells you that their weekend plans are to do something sinful you can challenge them right then to choose God. “I wonder if it is a good idea to get drunk this weekend?” If we are authentic in building friendships with others, we can challenge them to live as disciples without coming across as judgmental kill-joys or Bible thumpers.
Tips to foster small group discussion
Have you ever been a part of a small group and the presenter asks a question, only to get a room full of people that don’t say anything? They might be intimidated, bored, feel like they don’t fit in, or aren’t sure how the information or question is relevant to them. All of the lesson plans offer open ended questions that will help your team members lead participants in the right direction while avoiding the pitfalls mentioned above.
Create an environment where people are willing to be vulnerable.
Ask for opinions.
Most of your discussion questions should focus on understanding how the participant feels about the catechesis that has been presented. Does he disagree or agree with it? Is he ready to accept the truth and make a decision for God? We aren’t trying to force anyone to accept the Gospel; we are trying to understand how we can best serve them by helping them through their difficulties and addressing their concerns.
Use “Why” and “How” questions to avoid one word answers.
“Why do you think the presenter used the image of a clock in the sand? What does that say about the existence of God?”
Listen for the next question.
Silence is okay. When you throw out a question, take the time to pray a Hail Mary while waiting for a response. Repeat the question and then make suggestions to draw people in to the conversation- “Let’s go around the group and see what people think-Joe, would you like to start?” or “Has anyone ever had an experience where they knew God was present and listening to them?”
Avoid complaining, gossip, and other traps.
If the conversation leads someone to draw on an experience of their past in a negative way, or if you find someone is gossiping about someone else, avoid participating in the gossip, apologize for their experience, if it will help, and keep the conversation moving in a different direction. “I’m so sorry you had a bad experience with that priest. I can tell that really hurt. If you need to talk about it more later with me, we can do that. For now, does anyone have any thoughts about how we see Jesus in other people?”
Respect opinions.
Allow participants to wrestle with God and the Gospel in their own time. Focus on fellowship, building trust, and presenting solid, interesting catechesis. Your goal is to speak the truth that will remove the hurdles that are keeping people from God.
Know when to linger with a topic and when to move on.
If it seems to be forwarding your goal of helping people to know Jesus and come to a decision about following Him, then keep going. Additionally, your secondary purpose of creating fellowship within the group can be served by a meaningful conversation that veers off topic but allows the group to know one another on a deep level. If your small group tends to ignore questions and focus on small talk during the discussion time, you’ll need to gauge when to bring the discussion back to the topic and question at hand.
Find common ground through Sacred Scripture.
Sacred Scripture and Sacred Tradition form the Deposit of Faith, the totality of Catholic teaching. Both are equal in dignity and importance. One of the most important methods of evangelization in St. Paul Street Evangelization is to focus on finding common ground and working from that common ground to bring someone to make a decision for Jesus and the Church. People will find common ground more often in the Sacred Scriptures which all Christian groups hold in common, than they will with other church documents. You will find that we draw more from Scripture in our small group outlines and use the catechism for background information to help inform the team members’ understanding of Scripture.
Use stories, both personal and from the lives of the saints.
According to Paul VI, modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than he does to teachers, and if he does listen to teachers it is because they are witnesses. In small groups, it should be your priority to rouse interest by telling stories to teach. If you are not telling lots of interesting, relevant stories, you are almost certainly missing the mark with your audience. They don’t all have to be long or detailed, but they should illustrate your major points. Stories personalize the truth as well as make it more memorable.
Respond to different personalities.
You will have different personalities attend your small group. Team leaders should be trained at some point in how to respond to people who want to dominate the conversation: “Thank you for being so willing to share. I would like to see if Jake has anything to add.” Those who are shy or reluctant to answer: “Jill, we’re just wondering what’s going on in your heart. It’s not about having a right answer.” Those who refuse to answer: “It’s no problem, we like to hear from everyone, but you do not have to participate.” Those who answer with vague generalities or give answers that don’t make sense: “I was hoping you could clarify what you mean.” Remember that people do not always say what is going on under the surface, so assume good intentions and keep your responses positive.