Preparing for your First Meeting

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Checklist

The goal of your small group is to be an unending source of invitation into the faith of the Church and the Christian community at your parish. While small groups may break for a major holiday, they should be ongoing, all year, ready to receive new people and bring them into the Church. Use this check list to prepare for your first, and subsequent, meetings.

Practice Radical Hospitality

Location

At your first meeting pick a small meeting room in the parish. You may choose to meet in someone’s home, but the default is to meet in the parish. Only meet in a home if the Holy Spirit has made it clear that is what he wants you to do. It is better to meet in a small room and have so many people show up that you need to move to a larger room, than start in a room that is too large and give people a sense that the small group isn’t fulfilling its purpose and there should be more
people there.

Food

This is where you will probably need the help of the parish for financing. Shock your participants with how good the food is. A box of Krispy Crème donuts or a $5 pan pizza isn’t going to do it. Decide on one team leader to be in charge of food. You may have to dig into your own pocket a little at first as a team, but as Father sees the fruit of your small group he will get over his hesitation quickly. We don’t know where you live or what time you are going to run your small group, but put out a spread that will impress your participants. We would avoid putting out a full meal, but do put out lots of good snack foods, both hot and cold. Even if people don’t eat much the first few times because they weren’t expecting food, keep it coming. They will catch on. Every time their stomach rumbles, they should think about the food at the small group.

Friendship

Once a person walks in the room the team should no longer focus on each other. Your focus is on your participants. Everyone should be welcomed by name, invited to put on a name tag and grab some food. Team members should do the same – as a participant grabs food, the team member with them grabs some food. Find a place to sit and chat until it is time for the small group to start. If someone comes in and is standing or sitting by themselves, team members should invite that person to sit down with them.

When new people come for the first time use basic questions to get to know them:

What is your name?
Where are you from?
We are glad you came, what brought you here tonight?
Tell me about your family?
What do you do for a living? Do you enjoy it? Would you do something else if you could? What would that be?
What do you like to do when you aren’t working or going to school?
Where would you travel if you could go anywhere in the world?
What books, movies, or tv shows do you enjoy?

According to Pope Paul VI, evangelization is the proclamation of the kingdom and this kingdom is visible in the Church, especially in the local parish community (Evangelii Nuntiandi, 8). Friendship is your work in this part of evangelization. Not friendship for the sake of utility, but out of genuine Christian charity. It doesn’t matter how much truth you share, if you are unkind and uninterested in those in front of you, they won’t come back. Your job is to love them as Christ loves them.

Resources

Have your small group library prepared and on display. As people have questions and want to learn more, bring them over to the library and explain what they can take and keep and what they are welcome to borrow. New participants should always be given a miraculous medal and some pamphlets to take with them, especially including a schedule of the upcoming meetings, other events at the parish, and the contact information of all of the team members.

Choosing who will lead each session

The team leader does not need to be the only person who serves as the teacher and leads a main session. As the leader, you should work to discern who among your group has gifts for teaching and set a schedule based on each person’s strengths. Your participants will appreciate hearing from different people even if the team leader needs to teach the first few lessons as everyone gets comfortable in the small group process.

How to lead a session

All care should be given to avoid turning the small group into a classroom. Someone is going to give a lesson, but the lesson is 1/4th to 1/3rd of the total time and should feel like a discussion. The presenter should give priority to questions from the participants and to small group time. If the presenter runs out of time, stop a few minutes before the time is up, summarize the points not covered, and start the discussion. It would be preferable to split the topic into two meetings rather than cut out small group discussion. Participants need plenty of time to talk, get to know your community, feel at home, and discuss what is on their hearts. The catechesis, while necessary and irreplaceable, is complementary to, rather than prioritized over fellowship.

The physical environment

As you are setting up the room, try to use round tables for seating rather than rectangular tables. One or two tables should be laid out for food. Set up another table for check in and advertising resources. Use another table for your resource library. A podium and white board can be set up for the presenter if desired. We recommend, especially if there are fewer than 20 people, presenting your catechesis while sitting down. Standing in a room full of sitting people may give participants a sense that you are an authority figure and make them less likely to ask the questions that they have out of fear of feeling “dumb.” At the very least, you can sit down for the question and discussion portion of the meeting.
The room should be well-lit and clean. You may be limited by the resources available at your parish, but do your best to show that the people of the parish care about their facilities.

I once spoke at for a group in the southwest United States. When I arrived 30 minutes ahead of the scheduled time for the talk I could tell that the lights were on in one building of a massive complex that I had never been to before. I could even tell that there were people walking around in the building so I gravitated towards where there were people. I was surprised that what I thought was the main doors were locked and I couldn’t get in. I pounded on the door and someone walking through the hall cautiously opened the door with a quizzical look on their face. Could they help me? When I explained who I was they showed relief and welcomed me in. Apparently everyone knew that there was a back door around the building where you could get in. No one used the doors that I had walked to. You see the problem:

Are there signs in the parking lot pointing the way? A-frame signs are cheap and easy to put together. Your parish probably has a few laying around that you can borrow.
Is the door unlocked?
Is the building well lit?
No one is a stranger and God has no grandchildren. Assume good intentions in everyone that walks in the door and avoid looking concerned or worried by someone you don’t know.
Make people feel a part of the group and wanted from the moment they arrived, as if they just walked into a room full of old friends. Even if a person winds up in your meeting by accident, they should feel welcomed and wanted.
Use good humor and show your Christian joy.

The Atmosphere

Pope Francis recently said: “When the Church summons Christians to take up the task of evangelization, she is simply pointing to the source of authentic personal fulfilment. For ‘here we discover a profound law of reality: that life is attained and matures in the measure that it is offered up in order to give life to others. This is certainly what mission means.’ Consequently, an evangelizer must never look like someone who has just come back from a funeral! Let us recover and deepen our enthusiasm.” (Evangelii Guadium, 10). The general atmosphere should reflect the good humor and joy of your team who are excited to share the life-changing truth of Jesus.

After the small group meeting is over, team members should be prepared to stay for a minimum of 30 minutes chatting with participants who might want more information or might want to share something on their heart that they did not want to tell the whole group. Team members should have cards that they can give their participants with their personal information (phone, email) for participants to reach out to later. Along with an hour to an hour-and-a-half long session, it could be up to two-and-a-half hours before the last team member locks up and leaves. Make sure there is a designated person, if not the whole team, who is assigned to clean up and lock up.