Individual Meetings with Participants
But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous. — Luke 14:13-14
After a person attends the small group for 3 consecutive weeks, it’s time for the Team Leader to request to meet with them one-on-one. This not a job interview; we aren’t testing their commitment to Jesus. This is an opportunity to start a new friendship and to learn more about how we can serve them.
The meeting should take place at a restaurant or on otherwise neutral turf (and you guessed it, you pay the bill). You’re going to practice the art of Christian listening, authenticity, and Christian friendship. There is no set agenda other than discovering who this person is and where their need for God is in their life.
Too many parishes are communities of strangers that worship together. We know each other’s names, maybe what we do for a living or we pray for their sick relative, but we rarely open up our homes or our hearts outside of our own cliques. That changes through radical Christian hospitality, which is something that most Catholics must relearn.
Let’s not be awkward about this.
When you make an invitation, pick up the phone or invite them in person. “Tim, I’m glad you’ve been coming to our small group. Seriously, it’s a pleasure having someone with so many great questions. We’re learning a lot too. Can I take you to lunch next Tuesday?” If they seem startled by your invitation, be upfront about why you are making it. “I’d like to get to know you better as a friend, and hear from you how I can serve you better.”
You are not a salesman.
You aren’t selling anything at the meeting. You are just having a conversation with someone new and heaping Christian charity on them. Hopefully you’ve already been getting to know them in the small group meetings, but you can use some of these ice breakers from before. If you have already covered these topics, go deeper.
- Where are you from?
- What brought you to the small group?
- Tell me about your family?
- What do you do for a living? Do you enjoy it? Would you do something else if you could? What would that be?
- What do you like to do when you aren’t working or going to school?
- Where would you travel if you could go anywhere in the world?
- What books, movies, or tv shows do you enjoy?
At some point in your conversation, after your meal has been served, ask them “have you ever considered becoming Catholic before?” Remember their answer and use it as a way to serve them. It is possible that at this point you will discover the person has been baptized Catholic, already knows the basics, and really just needs to go to Confession and maybe join a good Bible study. You can direct them to another group at this point that will help them come back to full communion with the Church, if that is what they desire. Or you may find that the person is still full of doubts and really needs to talk to someone one-on-one in addition to the weekly meetings.
Be prepared to think creatively for ways to meet people’s needs, whatever they might be.
Think about the spiritual and corporal works of mercy that might apply to their life. Do they need help with the basic necessities of living like housing, clothing, or food? Are they grieving the loss of someone close to them and need someone to listen and offer comfort? Do they need help paying bills? Do they need further education or instruction that you can help them with outside of the small group? Do they have addictions or illnesses that need to be addressed? Use your parish resources, if necessary, to connect them to material help they might need.
One key question to ask is “How would you describe your relationship with God?” If they say that they do not believe in God, you can ask “Can you tell me about the God that you do not believe in?” Decide what information might be useful to give them in a later meeting to help engender trust, curiosity, or openness to God.
Figure out what they like to do and be a part of as a way to make further invitations to social events at the parish. Ask them if you can keep them informed about other events that are going on that they might enjoy and then follow up. Finally, as you are comfortable in the next four to six weeks after your initial meeting, invite them over for dinner or to do something with the team and a few other participants outside of the small group. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you and identify if these monthly outings should be social (bowling, dinner, movies, basketball, etc.) or worship oriented (Adoration, healing services, speaker series, conferences, etc.).