So there Carlos was, stationed in Minot Air Force Base, North Dakota. His wife, Kristine, was a non-practicing “Born Again” Christian, and he was a barely practicing Catholic. They decided to go to Mass one Sunday for no other reason than “just because.”
A few weeks went by. Carlos and Kristine started getting to know the other parishioners and the priest, Fr. Stan. Father did a very good job with getting to know his parishioners, especially any newcomers. Once, after Mass ended, as Carlos shook Father Stan’s hand, he asked Carlos what he thought to be a rather strange question. Father asked if Carlos was married. The question was strange to Carlos because he had already introduced him to Kristine. “Yes,” Carlos replied, but Father Stan didn’t let go of Carlos’ hand. Instead, he asked the same question twice more. Carlos told him, “Yes, Father. Kristine and I got married at a drive-thru wedding in Las Vegas.”
Father Stan was considerably shorter than Carlos and much older, but it would have been impossible to tell at that moment. Once he found out that Kristine and Carlos had gotten married at a drive-thru wedding in Vegas, his other hand shot up so fast and popped Carlos on the head.
Very seriously, but with great compassion, Father then said, “Carlos, you and Kristine must make an appointment with me this week. We need to discuss your marriage.”
Through the course of the marriage counseling, Father Stan showed Kristine and Carlos amazing love. He explained that the reason for hitting Carlos in the head was that he needed to get Carlos’ attention (generally speaking, randomly bopping people on the side of the head is not recommended as an evangelization tool). Father wanted to show the young couple the true beauty of marriage, and he said if they could see that, then they’d be more fully able to appreciate the Mass and each other. Through Father Stan’s firm but loving and constant witness, Carlos came back to the Church and Kristine entered the Church. Their covenant with each other and with God has continued to grow and deepen. Praised be Jesus Christ!
There are four major takeaways from this lesson:
- Be a part of someone’s story, and allow them to be a part of yours. This means that when evangelizing, it’s more than providing a sound byte, giving a sales pitch, or handing out pamphlets. It’s about being present to and for others.
- Focus on the “why.” While it is very important to explain what we truly believe to clear up any misunderstanding, when it comes to non-Christian believers in God, emphasizing the “why” is more important. Why should they want to encounter the One and Triune God when they have their own conception of God? That’s the entry-point for “one good reason.”
- Care! Nobody will care how much the evangelist knows unless they know how much the evangelist cares. Evangelizing must always be for love of neighbor. Focusing too much on being “right” means that the relationship may never grow. Treating someone with love can be the first authentic encounter with Jesus Christ they’ve ever had.
- Remember others’ humanity and engage it. The evangelist doesn’t know where others are in their journey of faith. What do they believe? What do they know about the Catholic faith? Who have they met in their lives that they consider examples of Catholicism? There are so many “unknowns” until time and patience allow for a relationship to develop. Engaging their humanity means asking lots of questions, and having that special sense of compassion shows that you know and understand the struggles in life that everyone undergoes.
Let us thank the Lord for being witnesses to the faith, and may He bless and keep us in our mission of evangelization!