Now that we’ve learned how to begin the conversation, how do we move it forward towards the proclamation of the Gospel? We can learn so much from the Acts of the Apostles. Chapter 8 includes the story of St. Philip and the Ethiopian. This is one of the most powerful examples in scripture about how the Holy Spirit leads our efforts to evangelize. Philip received a message from an angel of God to travel the road from Jerusalem to Gaza. Without knowing why he was to go there, Philip got up and started on his way. While he was traveling, he encountered an Ethiopian seated in a chariot.
Responding to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, Philip approached the Ethiopian and saw that he was reading the Prophet Isaiah. Philip moved the conversation quickly to a question about faith, asking, “Do you understand what you’re reading?” The Ethiopian responded, “How can I unless someone instructs me?” Guided by the Holy Spirit, Philip saw the opportunity to share the Gospel and took it. Following Philip’s proclamation, the Ethiopian was baptized that same day.
But this wasn’t just any Ethiopian. The man Philip approached was a eunuch in charge of the entire treasury for the queen of the Ethiopians. Approaching someone of such authority perhaps made Philip more than a little nervous. But he stepped out anyway, believing that God was truly leading his actions. Many of our evangelists have related similar stories to Philip and the Ethiopian, how they approached a person without knowing what would happen, but that person ended up giving their heart to Jesus and coming to know the Catholic faith. If we seek to imitate Philip’s example, we need first to rely upon the Holy Spirit to guide our way.
Next, we need to take advantage of the opportunities that the Lord places before us to move the conversation forward. Philip opened the door to proclaim Jesus by asking a question: “Do you understand what you are reading?” In the four gospels, Jesus asked hundreds of questions, and we can follow his lead by asking the right questions of the person we’re evangelizing. One of my favorite questions is, “How’s your relationship with God?” This is a very open-ended question that helps the person to share their story without feeling like we’re judging them. This question often leads to follow-up questions like, “Do you have a church home?”, or “Have you ever heard the gospel?”
Another great approach is to say, “We love to bless people and pray for them. Can we pray for you?” If you’re giving away a Miraculous Medal, you can say, “Do you need a miracle in your life?” Our hope is that these questions lead to an open door to proclaim the gospel, just as it did for St. Philip. To do this effectively, we need to discover how we can use active listening skills to minister to the person before us. Learning to exercise active listening skills takes time and practice.
How do we engage in active listening? Well first, be aware. Throughout your conversation, try to pay attention to the present moment. Be attentive to yourself so that you can maintain a respectful disposition and a proper body language throughout the conversation. This also helps you pay attention to thoughts and inspirations that come from the Holy Spirit.
Second, pay attention to the person. Listen to them. Remember what they say. Notice their body language. Are they open to the conversation? What emotions are they expressing? Are they interested in what you’re saying? What concerns them? What’s on their heart? If they share with you a story of how a family member passed away, that’s probably something to delve into. If they’re angry or confused about God and religion, you might ask them about that. If they seem bored or uninterested, it’s probably the time to redirect and ask well-placed questions…find out what’s really going on. Do it all out of genuine love and concern.
Third, we want to withhold judgment. Yes, Jesus Christ is the one way to eternal life. But following our Lord Jesus, we don’t come to judge the world, but to save the world. Our Lord Jesus exhorts us not to judge others, lest we be judged. Instead of criticizing false views right away, we want to withhold judgment until it’s truly helpful. Instead of hardening ourselves to people in a gravely immoral lifestyle, consider the case before you whether you might be called to follow the Lord’s example and eat with tax collectors and sinners. We are there to minister to others, to bring Christ to them, and that comes first before correcting errors. Like St. Paul, we come to build up, not to tear down.
The fourth step in active listening is to reflect back what the person is saying to you. Be aware of the possibility that you might misunderstand what a person is saying, and repeat or summarize for them what they’ve told you to make sure you understand. “So you say you’re on your way to New York for another spinal surgery?” This also has the benefit of showing them you’ve been listening to them, and opens the way to ask questions. “Oh yeah, how many surgeries have you had so far?”
Our fifth step is to ask questions. Clarify any areas that are unclear. Show your interest by asking questions. Open-ended questions are often the best. They give people a chance to keep expanding on what they’re telling you. “I’m sorry that happened to you. When your landlord kicked you out of your house, what did you do? Can you tell me more about that?”
The sixth step in active listening is to speak God’s word into their life. When someone opens up to you, sharing a part of their life or belief that they have, and you’ve really listened and showed that you care, then you have likely earned the right that they should listen to you as well. Share the gospel and your personal testimony in ways that the person can understand. When should you do this? Listen to God, and remain open to the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and then wait until He inspires you. Wait until He, so to speak, says, “Now!”
While learning to be an active listener takes some practice, it’s well worth the effort. Once we’ve become proficient at active listening, these conversations will often happen quickly and smoothly, and you’ll discover that the person opens up to hearing the gospel even more.