In order to evangelize someone, you usually need to engage them in conversation. But many people are pessimistic about the prospects. Who wants to talk about religion with a stranger, or (many times) even a friend? But in our experience, we’ve found that the objection is overstated: many people do want to talk about matters of faith. Many of our evangelists are surprised to find people excited to share their questions about God. Our evangelists also tell us that it is rare that they are met with hostility. While there are certainly exceptions, most people that are truly hostile towards the faith, instead of getting loud or angry, just ignore you or shut down conversation.[1] At that point, you can “shake off the dust from your feet” (Mt 10:14) and move on. On the other hand, a friendly conversation is often the beginning of a new journey of discipleship: we have to spread the seed if we want it to bear fruit. But how do we get started? What do we do when we encounter a new neighbor on a walk, or find ourselves sitting next to a stranger on an airplane? What do we do when we’re out with a street evangelization team? This is where conversation starters can be useful.
Listen, Befriend
Our first job, when evangelizing, is to build trust and earn a right to be heard. One of our evangelists helped bring a professed atheist to conversion through a conversation that began by exchanging pleasantries when in line at McDonalds. Such “pleasantries” can be as simple as, “Hi, my name is John, what’s your name? … It’s nice meet you Michael; so what do you do for a living? … So what is that like? … Do you have a passion for that, or did you just kind of fall into that kind of work?” Ask someone about things like their work, their family, what town they live in, where and what they studied, and what they like to do for fun; and then listen to what they have to say. A few questions can start a new conversation, a new acquaintance — even a new friendship. It’s all about engaging in “active listening” so we can minister to the person in front of us, plant seeds of faith, and ultimately help them come to repentance and belief in the gospel. We ought to truly care about the people we evangelize — not looking to put “notches on our belts.”[2] Techniques for public or “direct” evangelization ought to lead naturally to long-term acquaintances and friendships where we can engage in “relational evangelization.”[3]
Aside from “getting-to-know-you”-type questions, another kind of conversation starter that can be useful is offering someone prayer, or a sacramental like a rosary or a Miraculous Medal. This is especially useful when you know the person well, or when you’re doing direct evangelization and it’s instantly clear to people that you intend to talk about religion.[4] You may start the conversation off with something like, “Do you need prayer for anything?”, “Would you like a free rosary?”, or “Can I interest you in a free Miraculous Medal?”[5] In these cases when you begin the conversation with religion, that doesn’t mean that you should necessarily skip the more “getting-to-know-you”-type questions. Often, these are still needed to build trust and earn the right to be heard.
Find common ground
Whether you start with “getting-to-know-you”-type questions, or offering a sacramental or prayer, it is important to find common ground. We had one street evangelist who discovered, through conversation with a college student, that they shared a favorite philosopher. That student kept coming back to where the evangelization team set up each week to learn more about the Catholic faith. Another evangelist encountered a somewhat hostile gentleman who claimed that Catholics didn’t study the Bible enough. The evangelist could have argued with him by citing the large number of fellow Catholics he knew who were committed to studying the Bible. Instead, he chose to cede the point, admitting that by and large Catholics don’t study the Bible enough. By the end of the conversation they warmly embraced, put their arms around each other’s shoulders and began encouraging other people who were walking by to read their Bibles more. Instead of returning hostility for hostility that day, the evangelist made a new friend; and perhaps, in time, a new Catholic.
[1] They might avoid making eye-contact; or if they do approach you, you might be met with one- or two-word answers to your questions, instead of a lively conversation. But the fact that they are there, listening to you, probably shows that they are open to God on some level buried not too deeply down.
[2] This is when we care more about “getting a convert” than we care about the person themself.
[3] “Direct evangelization” is evangelization that is directed to crowds or publicly, usually to strangers. “Relational evangelization” takes place over the long-term through some kind of relationship.
[4] This includes street evangelization and other forms of direct evangelization where your immediate purpose is to evangelize, and you have a sandwich-board sign or some other indicator to declare your intentions. When you start a friendly conversation, your immediate goal may not always be to evangelize. Your immediate goal might be simply to be friendly, to share yourself with others and to get to know them in return. But as Catholic disciples of the Lord Jesus, we know that the ultimate destiny of every human person is eternal life, and that this life begins now in the Church — in her faith, her prayer, her liturgy, her sacraments, her works of love. For this reason, we are always on mission. Whatever our immediate goal might be, we should always be prepared to recognize good opportunities to share the gospel of Jesus, and to act on them.
[5] Included with this lesson is a handout with more information on sacramentals and starting conversations.