Final Thoughts
So there I was, stationed in Minot Air Force Base, North Dakota. My wife, Kristine, was a non-practicing “Born Again” Christian, and I was a barely practicing Catholic. We decided to go to Mass one Sunday for no other reason than “just because.”
A few weeks went by, and we started getting to know the other parishioners and the priest, Fr. Stan. Father did a very good job with getting to know his parishioners, especially any newcomers. Once, after Mass ended, as I shook Father Stan’s hand, he asked me what I thought to be a rather strange question. He asked me if I was married. I thought this was strange because I already introduced him to Kristine. I told him, “Yes,” but he didn’t let go and instead asked me the same question twice more. I finally answered him with more detail telling him, “Yes, Father. Kristine and I got married at a drive-thru wedding in Las Vegas.”
I am by no means a tall man, but Father Stan was considerably shorter than me and much older. I wouldn’t have been able to tell at that moment because once he found out that Kristine and I got married at a drive thru wedding in Vegas, his other hand shot up so fast and popped me on the head.
Very seriously, but with great compassion, he then said, “Carlos, you and Kristine must make an appointment with me this week. We need to discuss your marriage.”
Through the course of our marriage counseling with Father Stan, he showed Kristine and I amazing love. He explained that the reason for hitting me in the head was that he needed to get my attention (on a side note, I would not recommend randomly bopping people on the side of the head as an evangelization tool). The reason that he needed to get our attention was because he wanted to show us the true beauty of marriage, and he said if we could see that, then we’d be more fully able to appreciate the Mass and each other. Through Father Stan’s firm but loving and constant witness, I came back to the Church and Kristine entered the Church. Our covenant with each other and with God has continued to grow and deepen. It doesn’t get much better than that.
Why do I tell this story?
Because there are four major takeaways I want to give you from this lesson:
One: Be a part of someone’s story, and allow them to be a part of yours. This means that when you evangelize, it’s more than providing a sound byte, giving a sales pitch, or handing out pamphlets. It’s about being present to and for them.
Two: Focus on the “why.” While it is very important to explain what we truly believe to clear up any misunderstanding, I’d offer that when it comes to non-Christian believers in God, emphasizing the “why” is more important. Why should they want to encounter our One and Triune God when they have their own conception of God? That’s when you give your “one good reason.”
Three: Care! Nobody will care how much you know unless they know how much you care. The reason you evangelize must always be for the sake of love of neighbor. If you focus too much on being “right,” the relationship may never grow. You never know; if you treat them with love, you may be the first authentic encounter with Jesus Christ they’ve ever had.
Four: Remember their humanity and engage with it. We don’t know where they are in their journey of faith. We don’t know what they believe. We don’t know what they think they know about the Catholic faith. We don’t know who they’ve met in their lives that they consider examples of Catholicism. There are so many things we don’t know until we give the time and patience for the relationship to develop. Engaging their humanity means asking lots of questions, and having that special sense of compassion that shows the person that you know and understand the struggles in life that everyone undergoes.
I thank the Lord for you as fellow witnesses to the faith, and I ask that He bless and keep us in our mission of evangelization. God bless!