Most people are open to a friendly conversation with someone new; but how do we start a conversation about faith, or transition to proclaiming the gospel? As we already said, we need to listen to the Holy Spirit and use active listening skills. By these means, we can see and take advantage of opportunities to move the conversation forward and share the gospel. With the help of the Lord, we need to find an “opening” in the conversation — an opening into which we can speak the words of God.
How might this happen, in the give-and-take of the conversation? If you have used active listening skills and treated the person with respect, then he or she will usually be open to whatever you have to say next. If someone trusts you, they will likely listen to you and be vulnerable with you. That in itself can create the opportunity you’re looking for. However, it is worth noting that we usually find openings to preach the gospel only after the conversation has already moved into the realm of religion. Once the person you’re talking to is sharing with you their own journey of faith, or their own views of religion, or their own relationship with God, then prime opportunities to share the gospel won’t be long in coming.
“Do you go to church?”
With this in mind, a great way to help make the transition to preaching the gospel is to ask the person about their faith story. “Do you have a religious background?” “Did you grow up going to church?” “Do you go to church?” These questions can help us get to the heart of the matter quickly. However we opened up the conversation or “broke the ice,” however we continued the conversation, we want to find out where the person is in their own walk with God. That way, we can preach the gospel in a manner that speaks to their situation. Ask a non-threatening question about the person’s faith, and you will quickly learn important information about them:
“Do you go to church?”: “I used to, but not anymore.”
“Do you go to church?”: “No, and I don’t believe in the flying spaghetti monster in the sky either.”
“Do you go to church?”: “No, I was molested by a priest as a child.”
“Do you go to church?”: “No, I am a Muslim.”
“Do you go to church?”: “Once in a while. I go to First United Methodist over on Spencer Street.”
“Do you go to church?”: “I’m more of a spiritual person than a religious person.”
“Do you go to church?”: “Yes — I’m a Catholic.”
From this point, you should continue to engage in active listening, ask follow-up questions, and look for the right time to share the good news. If they talk about their faith when they were younger, a good follow-up question might be, “How has your relationship with God been lately?” or “So how would you describe your relationship with God?” If they talk about their protestant faith, you might ask them more about it, and eventually ask if they have ever considered the Catholic Church. If they are Catholic, you might ask if they get to Mass regularly and practice the faith. If they are of some other religion, or no religion at all, you might talk with them about that, and then ask them if they’ve ever heard the Christian gospel. By asking a person about their own religion, faith, or relationship with God, we set up opportunities to proclaim the gospel to them, or to help them step deeper into Christian faith and practice. Questions about a person’s faith get to the heart of the matter, take away the guess-work, and help you speak the word of God into a person’s actual spiritual needs.
Transitioning to the gospel
Here are a number of approaches that you can use to help you make the transition from a conversation about their faith to the proclamation of the gospel.
- Offer a sacramental. “I have a gift for you; this is a Miraculous Medal.” A sacramental is a tangible reminder of God’s love and a connection to the Church and faith. A Miraculous Medal is a great choice, but you could give some other sacramental like a crucifix, a rosary, or a brown scapular. Such gifts are good tools of evangelization because Catholics and non-Catholics are often interested in these tangible signs of faith. As you explain the sacramental and how it is used, you have a clear opportunity to share the gospel.
- Ask them about the faith openly. “What do you think about the Catholic Church?” “Have you ever thought about becoming Catholic?” Get right to it! Ask a non-confrontational question that leads to a deeper conversation. People are often quite open to sharing their opinions on the Catholic faith. Once they have shared their thoughts, you may transition to sharing your love of the Catholic faith, or your personal testimony, in a way that builds upon their response to your question.
- The direct approach. “Do you know the gospel? Can I share it with you?” Questions like these are often associated with pushy door-to-door evangelists who corner people into uncomfortable conversations. But when you have established a good rapport with someone, have built trust, and are already talking about religion, such questions are entirely appropriate, even welcome.
- Throw down a challenge. “Can I give you one good reason why I choose to be Catholic?” “Can I give you one good reason that I take my faith seriously?” The “one good reason” approach is a great way to challenge someone without looking like you’re criticising them. People don’t want to hear a sales pitch, but they do enjoy a good story. Use the “one good reason” method to make a helpful point, or to transition into telling a personal testimony and preaching the gospel. We often use this method in the context of street evangelization.
- Pray with them. “Do you need prayer for anything? … Would it be okay if I said a prayer for you right now?” From your conversation, you may already know what they may want prayer for. People usually love to be prayed for, even when they do not share your beliefs. Pray out loud, in a way that they might feel comfortable praying. It is a great way to transition into preaching the gospel or finding out more about their faith. You can even insert elements of the gospel into your prayer. Do not pray for too long a time, but be concise.
- Use special strategies geared to the local culture, or to specific kinds of people. Try to find ways to connect the faith and the gospel to the culture or locale of the people you talk to. Come up with strategies geared towards specific kinds of people.[1] For example, if over the course of conversation you discover that the person you are speaking to is an engineer, you might use analogies that would appeal to an engineer. It you find out a person is an atheist, you might ask them (after you have established some rapport), “Can you tell me about the God you don’t believe in?”[2] If you are in the city of Detroit or New York, you might ask the person if they’d ever heard of Blessed Father Solanus Casey, who ministered in those places.
In the end, there are a great many ways to bring the gospel into a conversation. In all cases, rely upon the guidance of the Holy Spirit through prayer.
A note on apologetics
As you engage in conversation about faith and religion, you might find yourself from time to time feeling moved to give arguments in defense of the Catholic faith; that is, to do apologetics. That’s okay, but remember that our goal is not to win arguments, but to build up another person in the gospel of Jesus Christ and in the practice of the Christian life. Try to engage in apologetics only when it will effectively overcome obstacles to faith.
Sometimes people are not open to arguments, but need a breakthrough of the heart. One of our street evangelists suspected that the man he was talking to was closed off to the very possibility that Christianity could be true. So he asked him, “Imagine if I could sit down with you for 8 hours a day for the next 30 days, and we argued about the truth of Christianity point by point. Imagine that at the end of that time, you found yourself totally convinced of the truth of Christianity. Would you then become a Christian?” The man responded, “No, I wouldn’t.” Keep this in mind as you think about using apologetics in the work of evangelization. Conversion to Jesus Christ is more often a matter of the heart than of the head.[3]
[1] What is their religion? What is their career or primary occupation?
[2] Often times you’ll find that an atheist’s view of God is a caricature of the biblical view. Getting them to explain their idea of God gives you the opportunity to show them that God is not like they think He is. “If that’s what I thought God was like, I wouldn’t believe in Him either!”
[3] Some have observed that many atheists seem to have two fundamental beliefs: (1) God doesn’t exist, and (2) I hate Him.