Regular fellowship with other faithful people
Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another. (Heb 10:24-25)
One of the most dangerous temptations of the spiritual life is the idea that we can “go it alone.” One may do okay for a time, but every person will eventually realize that the Christian life requires the help of others. This doesn’t mean we all have to be extroverts. But we do need spiritual friendships with people who will pray with and for us, and who will challenge and encourage us in living the Christian life. It may happen in the form of a small faith-sharing group, a weekly prayer group, an accountability partner, or some other group. The point is to connect with others spiritually in a non-superficial way. Not only do we need others, but they also need us. We need their gifts, and they need ours.
Continual participation in the mission of Christ
I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me. (Mt 25:35-36)
The Church teaches that “man, who is the only creature on earth which God willed for itself, cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.”[1] This gift finds its expression in three key areas: (1) living our vocation, (2) evangelization, and (3) acts of solidarity with the needy. In each of these three ways, we participate in the mission of Jesus.
First, we must be Christ-like servants in the areas of work and family. This is (1) living our vocation, and is our first responsibility. Second, by words and deeds, we serve yet others. There are any number of ways to do this. It may mean, for example, leading a parish discipleship group, teaching a high school confirmation course, helping with RCIA, being involved in street evangelization, or sharing the faith with a co-worker or friend. These kinds of activities help us fulfill our call to (2) evangelization. But serving others also means acts of mercy like helping at a soup kitchen, visiting a lonely neighbor, giving financial assistance, or cooking a meal for a family that has had a new baby. These are (3) acts of solidarity with the needy.[2]
Christian Hospitality
Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. (Heb 13:2)
To those who are welcomed into eternal life, Jesus says, “I was a stranger and you welcomed me” (Mt 25:35). Among the works of solidarity with the needy, hospitality has a special place.[3]
Jesus teaches that hospitality is an opportunity to practice that sacrificial love that gives without receiving or expecting anything in return, so that our reward is not on earth but in heaven (see Lk 14:12-14). Hospitality is a powerful witness, because it shows genuine love and concern for a brother or sister, imitating the servant Christ who washed his disciples feet (Jn 13:1-7). True hospitality doesn’t seek repayment but offers rest; it is slow to speak, yet eager and willing to listen; it subverts temptations we have towards self-seeking; and in the person of the stranger, friend, or guest, it puts Jesus at the seat of honor.
Hospitality takes time, effort, and resources. We say that we “practice” works of mercy, because we often do them imperfectly; seeking recognition, losing our tempers, cursing the poor under our breath, complaining or making excuses. But these deeds are the one, five, and ten dollar bills that seem insignificant, but over time accumulate and build wealth. And living a permanent, embedded life of Christian virtue doesn’t just happen — it takes a lot of starts and stops sometimes before it becomes habit, and, hopefully, second nature.
If you want to show the love of Christ to others, don’t underestimate the practice of Christian hospitality. Build a habit of it. Open your home to the stranger and those who can’t repay you; offer your tea and table to those who need an ear to listen; cook for more than you have, and always keep a place setting reserved for unexpected guests. By this practice, you are able to offer “room at the inn” for the Christ child, who comes by night in humble disguise (see Lk 2:7). God loved us first and showed us what love is and looks like (see 1 Jn 4:19). When we show hospitality, we are sharing with others what we have first received.
Regular fasting & sacrifice
When you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Mt 6:17-18)
One of the spiritual disciplines that is slowly making a comeback is the discipline of fasting. Many of us do some kind of fasting during Lent and Holy Week, but few are aware of the spiritual benefits that it affords us as a regular discipline.
For one thing, fasting helps us to grow in the virtue of self-control. It enables us to gain greater authority over our own body, exercising our own proper “king-ship” over that which we have been given rule. Why is this the case? Because faithfulness in small tasks is good preparation for greater tasks (see Mt 25:21)! Little acts of sacrifice and self-denial, like fasting, help to strengthen our will for the times when it gets more difficult to do good.
Another benefit of fasting is less well-known. Fasting helps to sharpen our spiritual sensitivity. It works kind of like a spiritual window-washing. It refines our discernment and our capacity to receive communication from the Holy Spirit. Many times, people experience greater-than-usual clarity in prayer after fasting—the word of God seems to speak more personally to them than normal. For example, it can happen when you are fasting that the Lord will call you very clearly to a very specific prayer of intercession for someone.
Many Catholics embrace a weekly or monthly discipline of fasting. They fast from food for a whole day, or they skip just one or two meals. Others limit their food to dry bread and water. Others abstain from meat or other delicacies. It is important not to harm yourself with fasting. If you cannot fast because of health problems, abstaining from certain foods that you enjoy will be useful.[4]
Always forgive
Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against any one; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. (Mk 11:24)
The constant challenge that Jesus puts before us is to forgive those who have offended us. Forgiveness is not a feeling, but a decision to let go of our “right” to get revenge on the person or to “hold it against them.” Jesus tells us to forgive those who offend us; but it’s just as much for our own sake as it is for the other party. Unforgiveness, it has been said, is like “drinking poison and hoping the other guy will die.”
Forgiveness means refusing to nurse resentment; it doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to like the other person; in some cases, we may never recover our warm feelings towards them. Forgiveness doesn’t even mean that we necessarily have to be in an ongoing relationship with them, or even have contact with them. It can also take years for the memory of some injuries to heal. Forgiveness is part of the healing process.
The disciples asked Jesus, “How many times must I forgive my brother if he wrongs me? Seven times?” Jesus replied, “Not seven times, but seventy times seven times” (Mt 18:21-22). That’s a lot of forgiveness! The truth is that sometimes we must choose to forgive the same person for the same offense over and over again. In doing this, we imitate the Lord God, who is full of kindness and compassion for sinners—for us.
[1] The Second Vatican Council, Gaudium et Spes [Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the modern world], December 7, 1965, sec. 24.
[2] “The spiritual and corporal works of mercy” is a great, traditional list of ways to serve others.
[3] See Gen 18; Rom 12:13; 1 Pt 4:9; 3 Jn 1:5-8; Heb 13:2
[4] Abstaining from non-food-related activities like television, video games, or music can also be fruitful forms of sacrifice.